Charity

Someone asked me to define my concept of Charity, and I figured it would make a good blog post. My concept of Charity arises mostly from my concept of Respect, so I'll start there. Respect to me is when you don't assume that someone needs your help. When you don't assume that you know more or know better. When you talk to someone with a stutter and you hold yourself back from finishing their sentences, that's Respect.

Now Respect is just fine, and it seems to me that a measure of Respect is the only valid foundation for humane fellowship, but I eventually realized that something else is necessary. For example, if someone has just failed a test, and you know that they hadn't studied, Respect would demand that you tell them it was their own fault. I decided that Respect had to be moderated by something, some basis for kindness or generosity. I decided to call it Charity.

If I were to define them topologically, I would say that Respect is closed, in that it contains all of its limit points, while Charity is open, meaning that every point is interior. In other words, it's really easy to see where Respect begins and ends, but Charity is much more vague. Respect is hard, where Charity is soft. If a man in a bank yells at a teller for dropping some change, it isn't very respectful to think to yourself "He's just having a bad day.", because you assume that he's not strong enough to overcome whatever's bothering him without getting flustered, but it is charitable.

I don't know if that makes any sense, but like I said, Charity isn't easy to pin down.

Dreams

I was out with some friends, driving around. Nuclearwarfare and Robynsaddiction and Robyn were in the car with me, but it wasn't my car. It was some sort of minivan. I think the Callowqueen may have been with us, but don't remember clearly. I turned left onto Santa Fe, then took a wrong turn into a parking lot. Somehow, I was doing 120 at this point, and had to slam on the brakes to avoid hitting a fence. After spinning a few times, the van stopped and we all had a good laugh about my poor sense of direction. So I got back on Santa Fe, and almost immediately did the same thing again. This time I was only going sixty, but the pavement was wet, and we slid into the fence...and right through it. It was some sort of illusion. We were in this sort of fence tunnel, like a clipping error in a video game, where it repeats the texture that you were supposed to see, but in all directions, since you're inside of it. As I sat there, wondering what the hell was going on, Robyn pointed out that someone was watching us from a window of the apartment complex that had been hidden by the fence. I got scared, since I knew we weren't supposed to know that the fence was fake, and drove us out of there. This time, I hurried home without delay, and got to an apartment that Nuclearwarfare, Robynsaddiction and Robyn and I were sharing. We were having another laugh at my expense, when the cops showed up with about 8 strangers, including he woman who had seen us from the window. I got a little scared again, and the woman asked who had been driving the van. I immediately answered that I had been driving, and apologized for invading their parking lot. Apparently satisfied, the woman thanked the police for their help and said they wouldn't be needed. As the police were leaving, Robyn apologized for the mess, saying she hadn't expected company. She seemed embarrassed, and I felt a little bad, because it was mostly my stuff sitting out. The woman from the other complex asked me to come for a walk with her, and started asking me exactly what I had seen. Then I woke up. Sigh...

BIG NEWS!

Even bigger than the news of my change of address, is the news of my new job! I am now officially a math teacher! I have accepted a Graduate Teaching Assistantship at UMKC beginning in the Fall of 2007! I will plan appropriate festivities as soon as the current semester is over, as I am a little busy at the moment. Hooray for me!

Expectations

I wonder if this one will be as long as the last one.

Everyone's been told at least once not to expect too much. But I don't think people think too much about how much they actually expect. At least, I didn't until recently. And I realize that the second sentence in this paragraph is so retarded it's almost poetry, but I couldn't come up with anything better. You see why my fiction writing goes nowhere.

Did you expect that bizarre digression into writing styles? Maybe, maybe not. Do you expect your screen to keep working? Do you expect me to keep typing in English? Do you expect a plane to not crash into the building you're sitting in right now?

We have to expect a great deal to be able to function, and the more we expect, or maybe I should say it as assuming-without-devoting-conscious-thought-to, or taking-for-granted, the more efficiently we can function. I don't actually take time in the morning to decide whether I should wear clothes when I go out. Seriously, I don't. I don't take the time to decide whether my raisin bran is going to kill me, I just eat it. I did take the time to check up on the creatine I've been taking, and have now decided not to take anymore. What, you thought I was going to make a moral argument? You should know better by now.

The most dangerous, and also the most necessary expectations we have, regard our fellow humans. I expect people not to assault me, and to send off some kind of cue before they do so. I expect my friends to know when I'm joking. I expect my students to give me some indicators of whether they have a clue what I'm talking about. Most of the time these expectations are met. On occasion, they are not.

Who's fault is that? Mine. To truly expect others to meet my expectations at all times would be arrogant. Even for me.

Priorities

I want to eat sushi every day.
I need money for this.
I want to have money.
I need to work for this.
I want to not work.
Error.

I think a lot of people are confused about what wanting means. It's a simple word, but wanting itself is extremely complicated. I have never met anyone that wanted only one thing, and I hope I never do. That would be insane. Actually, I think they call it monomania. The point is, we want a whole plethora of different things at once. The subtle part comes in how we decide which one to go after.

I don't really get to examine anyone else's thoughts, but here's how it goes for me. The actual desire comes from...well, anywhere. I want a more powerful graphics card in my computer, because I want to play a game. Who knows why I want to play the game. But wait...maybe there's some other reason I want a new card...bragging rights? The satisfaction of putting it in and getting it to work (nah, that never happens)? Vanity? Maybe even a perverse desire to waste money and damage my finances? Why would I want to do that anyway?

You see how that goes? And the graphics card really is a minor thing with me. Don't get me started on relationships. Oops, too late. That is what this whole rant is about isn't it?

As paradoxical as it seems (still need to read that book), this whole neurosis thing seems to help me be more in control of my life. It lets me be a little more rational in my decision making. Naturally, if I just told myself the real reason why I wanted things, I wouldn't need all of this analysis. I mean, why is sushi so goddamned special? Maybe other people's brains are more transparent, but my experience leads me to believe otherwise.

Why is figuring out what you want and why so difficult? Because we know better. We've been taught what's right and wrong, and we know darned well that wanting a video card so that someone else will be jealous, so that they'll spend more time thinking about you is wrong. (Just making this one up here, you didn't think I was going to confess to some heinous desire in public, did you?) So we suppress. We invent, or more often appropriate, some other reason and convince ourselves that it's the whole truth. I want to play this game because it was a gift (that part's real (how's my punctuation going?)).

But you have to get over that. Just because I want to kick clowns and see them fall down doesn't mean I do it. But boy is that mental image fun. And frankly, I'm not sure how much difference it makes in the end. Yesterday I ate sushi. Today I do not buy a video card. You win some, you lose some. And obviously, I'm not really talking about sushi and video cards, because they don't matter in any fundamental, inherent way. People do.

If I buy a video card and it starts pissing me off six months from now, it's easily gotten rid of.

Sushi takes even less time.

Another meme, courtesy of Detsune

This one's very long and more than a little girly, so I'll apologize in advance.

A - Accidents
01. Have you ever been in a car accident?
I only remember one. No injuries.

02. Do you have a lot of scars?
There's that one on the side of my head...and an interesting one on my ankle...a couple on my knees that I know nothing about. That's about it.

03. Have you ever been in a fist fight with someone?
Never as an adult. (Accidents?)

04. Have you ever seriously hurt anyone by mistake?
Probably. Never physically.

05. Have you ever had stitches? Where?
Just in my jaw, when my wisdom teeth were taken out. That jerk sewed my cheek to my gums!

B - Beauty
06. Do you consider yourself beautiful?
Only in an abstract sense, but I do have a shapely skull.

07. Are you self conscious of how you look?
Only when I see my reflection.

08. Do you put on a lot of make-up?
Not since I stopped acting (except that one time...)

09. Would you ever consider getting plastic surgery?
...?

10. What do you think makes a person beautiful?
Being female. Oh, and I like shoulders.

C - Consequences
11. What was the longest amount of time you've been grounded for?
...don't remember ever being grounded

12. What would you do if you got pregnant, keep it or have an abortion?
CALL THE ENQUIRER!

13. Do you ever think about how your actions affect other people?
Often. No conclusions, though.

14. What do you think is the worst punishment someone could give you?
Death. I'm not ready yet!

15. What is one thing you wish you didn't do, just because it wasn't worth it in the end?
Ok, I'm of the opinion that we're mostly created by our experiences, and as someone that is fond of himself, I wouldn't want anything to change. That said, my education degree was probably a waste of time and money. Oh, and there were some harsh words to Detsune at the end of the first visit to Japan that I've always wished I could take back.

D - Dealing
16. When you are mad at someone, how do you show them?
When I get mad, I do try to find a constructive way of expressing it, but that doesn't happen often. Blessed are the forgetful.

17. Name a time when you had to be strong.
I took a weight training class once.

18. Have you ever dealt with a divorce or parents fighting? Abuse?
Never my own, but friends, yes.

19. When people at school don't accept you, or have problems with you, how do you react?
I don't notice that sort of thing anymore.

20. Have you ever lost someone to death? Explain how you got through it.
A couple. You just move on, that's all.

E - Experience
21. Have you ever had a job? Any volunteer jobs?
Who the hell wrote this?

22. Do you think that you are sexually experienced, or not at all?
I wouldn't say not at all, but I'm definitely far toward that end of the spectrum.

23. Have you gone through a lot emotionally, or has life been easy thus far?
I find it hard to imagine how anyone could ever have lived as easily as I have.

24. Do you think you are ready to be on your own (have your own home, job, etc.)?
I have been in the past, and I hope to be so again in a few months.

25. How old do you act?
hehehe... FART JOKES ARE FUNNY, DAMNIT!!

F - Family
26. Is there anyone in your family you don't talk to? Why?
I rarely talk to my brother. We've just never been close, unfortunately.

27. If you had to choose, family or friends?
My family are also my friends. I make little of accidents of biology.

28. Can you tell your parents or one of your parents anything?
I could, but I don't. Too awkward.

29. Do you have any siblings? If so, do you ever get jealous of them?
Two, both older. The younger of the two is quite successful in his career, which I envy a little. Plus, he lives in Hollywood and has a beach in driving distance. Mostly, I have everything I want.

30. How often do you spend 'quality time' with family members?
I see my parents constantly. My brothers, not so much.

G - Growing
31. How tall are you? How tall do you wish you were?
mmm...5'10"? 11"? Mostly, I wish my legs were longer. A 32" inseam would make buying clothes much easier.

32. Do you think that you have grown more in the past year than any year before that?
no

33. As a person, do you think you are mature for your age or still act childish?
Both.

34. Are you scared to think that one day you will turn 30, then 40, then 50?
Not doing these things is a lot scarier.

35. Do you believe you still have a lot to learn?
I hope so.

H - Hope
36. Love - real or not?
...real, I suppose

37. Are you a pessimist of [sic] an optimist?
Both

38. Do you believe in fate, that everything happens for a reason, or do you think that our actions lead the way?
It still disturbs me to think that anyone has ever been sick enough to invent fate. How could you possibly want that! Live your own life!

39. Do you think that after we die our spirit is still alive?
Pure speculation. It's a nice thought, though.

40. What gives you hope when you just feel like dying?
I've never really felt like dying, and I don't go for hope much, not in any larger sense.

I - Issues
41. Do you suffer from depression or constant sadness/loneliness?
I've been told I do. It's possible.

42. Do you have any type of disease or disability?
Does laziness count?

43. Are you currently in a hard relationship or have bad luck with the opposite sex?
Luck's got nothing to do with it, alas, alas.

44. Do you think that you are alone in this world?
No. You're reading this aren't you?

45. How often do you think about death, suicide or running away?
hmm...it's been a long time.

J - Jokes
46. Say a word or phrase that would not be funny to anyone but you & one of your friends (an inside joke).
Gimme the works!

47. Are you usually the one making people laugh, or the other way around?
I'm a clown.

48. Do you cry when you laugh hard?
I don't bawl or anything, but I do sometimes tear up.

49. Write down a hilarious moment you had with someone that makes you laugh to this day.
I went to a drag party once...pictures are available!

50. Do you ever get in trouble for laughing or talking a lot during class?
What, in college?

K - Knowledge
51. The purpose of school:
Continuation of culture and society. Also, preparing students for jobs. Mostly to keep them off the streets, but that's not the way it ought to be.

52. Do people refer to you as smart, dumb, or average?
Smart.

53. What was the highest grade you have received (full course mark)? ...?
An A

54. What was your last average?
4.0, but that was in the education program, so it hardly counts.

55. What do you find the most interesting subject to be (to study or to talk about)?
Hehehe, don't get me started. I don't talk about music theory, because it's a subject I'm totally ignorant of. Ditto for art theory/history. I love to go on endlessly about anything else, and I really do like hearing myself talk.

L - Love
56. Are you currently in love? If not, have you been before?
I'm still not clear on the whole love thing. I honestly don't know how to answer these questions.

57. Do people around you show you a lot of love (tell you they love you, hug you, kiss you, etc.)?
I guess not. I don't either. I think that's just cultural.

58. Is love worth it?
Of course.

59. Do you hate it when girls in their young teenage years say they 'love' someone that they've been dating for a few months?
I don't discuss love with girls in their teenage years.

60. Does it take a lot for you to say you love someone, or is it just a word?
I guess it takes a lot. I've never said it to anyone but my parents.

M - Money
61. Do you believe that money makes the world go round?
Pretty much. Of course the actual question is much more complicated than that, and the truth is that power makes the world go around, but money is the most widely accepted symbol for power.

62. Is your family on the poor side, average, or above average when it comes to money?
Average. By American standards.

63. Are you saving up for college/university, or planning to?
Yay, student loans!

64. Would you rather win millions of dollars & be set for life, or find the perfect person to marry & start a family with?
Well, strictly speaking, the PERFECT person would be independently wealthy...but for various reasons, laziness included, I'd wish for the money first.

65. On a scale of 1-10, how important is money to you?
Paradoxically, I'd rate money a two, probably. It would take a long time to go into, maybe I'll write a post about it.

N - Naughty
66. (This question was missing from the original meme, so I've added my own.) Have you ever "been with" a goat?
Nope.

67. What do you think about doing sexual things with someone you're not going out with?
No problem if everyone involved is unattached. Not necessarily a problem otherwise either.

68. Do you know anybody you consider a 'slut'? What makes you say that?
No, not really. Damn it all.

69. If you could, would you erase some things you did in the past or make it so you did more? Or are you okay with everything you have done?
Didn't this question come up before...

70. Do you consider yourself more nice or more naughty? [You can't say both!]
I'd have to go with nice, I guess, but I don't really consider them to be related. It's sort of like asking you whether you like pizza or movies.

O - Openness
71. How long does it take for you to open up to someone?
It's a long, slow process. I have never yet opened up to anyone completely.

72. What does it take for you to fully trust someone?
Fully trust? What does that mean? I rely on people after very little justification, but I don't think that I fully trust anyone.

73. Are you generally untrusting towards people because of past experiences, or any other reason?
Everyone does everything because of past experiences.

74. When are you comfortable with someone sexually?
If it ever happens, I'll...no, I won't let you know.

75. When it comes to parents and close friends, what's the limit of what you can tell them?
It's different for everyone. Since both read this blog, that's all you're getting out of me.

P - Positive
76. Have you ever had an experience with someone that didn't necessarily end positively? If so, would you rather erase the memory of that person because of the sad times or keep the memory of that person because of the good times?
I thought this was the positive section. Anyway, like I've said earlier, I'm not inclined to change much of anything.

77. Do you agree with the saying: better to have loved and lost than not have loved at all?
Kind of a stupid saying when you think about it. But I'd guess it's true.

78. Are you more optimistic or pessimistic? What do you try to be?
More optimistic. I try to think good thoughts about people. I call this charity.

79. Do you agree that something good can come out of everything?
Anything can come out of anything. That doesn't justify egregious stupidity, though.

80. Have you ever had a time where something really bad happened, but something really good happened because of it?
...Let me put it this way. Everything human contains some degree of pain and joy. So I could describe anything that's happened to me this way.

Q - Questions
81. When faced with a problem, do you ask for help or try to figure it out yourself?
I don't mind asking for help, unless money is involved. Or anything emotional. I never, ever ask for help with such matters.

82. Do you often question the world and how we came about? What are some things you would like to know about creation?
I do wonder. I guess I'd like to know everything. Mostly, I wish people would stop believing and insisting on stupid things.

83. Do you think the government is truthful? If you could ask the president one question, what would it be?
Not likely. If Bush told me the sun would come up tomorrow, I'd buy candles. As for asking him anything, what would be the point? All my charity on this point has been used up, and then some.

84. When someone does something wrong to you, do you confront them and ask them why they did it or just let it go?
I usually let it go. I usually let most things go. But people almost always treat me well.

85. What is one unsolved mystery about the world that you want answers to?
What really happened to Nietzsche.

R - Respect
86. How do you show respect?
It's subtle. I often give unsolicited advice, which isn't very respectful, but I try to support my friends when they make decisions.

87. What can someone do for you to lose all respect for them?
It's hard for me to imagine losing all respect for anyone. I guess kicking someone when they're really down might do it.

88. Do you respect your teachers, parents, and other authority figures?
I respect anyone until they abuse that respect.

89. When you are disrespectful to your parents, what is the punishment?
My parents have never really punished me for anything.

90. If someone is mean to you, are you mean back or do you kill them with kindness?
People aren't mean to me. Seriously.

S - School
91. If you are still in school, what grade will you be going into?
Masters program

92. When will you graduate high school/college?
I'll finish my degree in 2009.

93. After high school, what did you do/are you planning to do?
School, school, school

94. Do you like or hate school? What do you like/hate about it?
I mostly like it, but I think I'll like teaching better.

95. Have you ever been suspended, expelled, or dropped out of school?
Nope. I'm a good boy.

T - Temptation
96. Have you ever done something wrong, knowing it was wrong, because something inside of you said it was okay?
My feelings on right and wrong would fill a long post by themselves. Probably several. But I have definitely given into temptation.

97. Has anyone ever pressured you to smoke or drink? Did you do it?
All the time. Never.

98. Did you ever cheat on someone?
Never. Never had a chance to for that matter.

99. Did you ever want to do something sexual with someone you didn't really know or love? What did you end up doing?
Yep. No big deal really. (Man, did a girl ever write this!)

100. Do you give in to temptation easily, or are you more independent and strong willed?
I often give in to my own temptations, but I'm virtually immune to peer pressure.

U - Unique
101. Would you rather blend in with the crowd or stand out?
Blending in has never been an option for me, which suggests that I've never wanted that.

102. Do you do a lot of things because your friends are doing it?
Sure. I like doing things with friends.

103. Do you follow trends, wear whatever you want, or wear really unique pieces?
hehehe...most people would probably call my fashion unique.

104. Do you give in easily to peer pressure? Do you do things such as smoke, drink, or have casual sex?
Not at all.

105. What makes you different from people your age?
I don't have time to answer this question. For that matter, I'm not sure if I really know the answer.

V - Value
106. What's the most expensive thing in your room?
My diplomas.

107. What's more valuable: your life or the lives of your loved ones? Would you sacrifice your life for other people?
Another long answer...short version, none of the above, and yes.

108. What is something you value not because it cost a lot, but because it means a lot to you?
A picture of my grandfather on my desk.

109. If there was a fire in your house/apartment, what is the first thing you would grab?
My computer. I've got no pets, and diplomas can be reprinted.

110. Do you think past memories and experiences are more valuable than what could possibly happen in the future?
Ridiculous question. Both are incomparably valuable.

W - Wishes
111. If you had three wishes, what would they be?
Money. Health. Wisdom.

112. Would you rather wish yourself to be happy, or your loved ones?
Me being happy would make my loved ones happy, right? I suppose the reverse is true, but somehow it doesn't seem as cool ;)

113. Do you believe that wishes come true if you really believe in them?
Belief is meaningless. Only action produces results.

114. Have you ever had a wish come true? If so, what was that wish?
Sure. I wanted to do well on a test I took yesterday. SO I STUDIED!

115. Do you find wishing for things a waste of time because everything that's meant to happen, will happen?
An even more ridiculous question. I'm not even gonna try to answer that one.

This next section was kinda dumb, so I made up a new one.
X - Xenography
116. What is something that is completely foreign to you?
Faith in the supernatural.

117. Do you like being around people that are like you or different?
I like people who have at least some common interests, but I like some variety too.

118. Do you seek out new experiences, or stick with what's safe?
I always go for new food, but mostly I stay within my comfort zone.

119. Do foreigners irritate/frighten/outrage you?
Nope, I love 'em.

120. Do you ever feel estranged from yourself?
Sometimes. It's a very uncomfortable feeling, and I usually just watch TV until it goes away.

Y - You
121. Are you more independent or social?
I'm very social, but I enjoy my down time too.

122. What is something that makes you very mad when you see it?
The strong taking advantage of the weak without a good reason.

123. Do you think that you have potential to do great things?
I have never doubted this. It has yet to happen though.

124. What kind of person would you be if you didn't have guidance from family members, God, teachers, etc.? Do you think people are born a certain way, or develop their personalities based on what they go through in life?
Yes. Seriously, who could answer such a question? See the rest of this blog.

125. Do you think people are generally good?
Good is a myth. People are generally interesting.

Z - Zest
126. Are you currently happy with your life? Why or why not?
Yes. I have great friends and a loving family (also loving friends and a great family). I have plenty to eat (too much) and comfortable clothes. I have a nice place to live, and plenty of entertainment.

127. Are you more outgoing, ready for anything, or boring and shy?
Mostly the latter.

128. When change occurs, do you get scared or are you excited for it?
Both.

129. Do you like to try new things, meet new people?
Yes, but I hardly ever do these things.

130. What is the most motivational thing in the world?
A hot poker to the ass.

What do you think?

Blogger issues

So I posted yesterday for the first time in months, and I got three replies already! Except not. In fact, one of the replies was originally made by Yellowdancer 2 or 3 months ago. I really can't type in the morning, by the way, I make at least three typos per sentence, so if I don't catch 'em all, sue me. Anyway, the other two replies were from Det-chan overseas, and one of them was definitely new, since it was a reply to my post yesterday, but the other one was a reply to that last post, and since Blogger doesn't put dates on the replies, just times, I've no idea when the other one was written, but I think it's also quite old. The funny thing is, Yellowdancer's reply is dated correctly in the e-mail message that blogger sent me today, but Det-chan's is dated today, so I'm confused. Anyway, I've got another meme or two from a ways back to post, so I guess I'll get on that.

I guess I'm a little strange.

I had this dream. The house was being heavily remodeled, more like rebuilt. There was a large wooden patio running around most of the upper floor. Also, I'd moved into what is currently my parents' bedroom. I'm not sure where they were situated, and in fact, my dad never showed up in the dream, but anyway, the staircase was mostly obscured by a folding screen about half way up, but I could never remember how it folded, so I was having trouble getting upstairs. One morning, I woke up to the sound of these kids playing tag on the wooden patio outside my room. I went out to lecture them, but when I got outside, I noticed that they were under the supervision of a couple of P.E. teacher types. So I decided to let it go, until I remembered that this was a private residence not a school, and that there was no outside access to that patio. By then they were gone. I got a phone call from my mom that some cousin had gotten into a brawl, and we had to flee to California. Later, she came in to tell me that she needed to go ahead, and that I would have to help my dad pack the stuff up and ship it to our new home, except that California was out due to some bureaucratic hassle, and we were going somewhere else, maybe Florida. I was a little upset about this, and wondered how I could ship our stuff without an address to ship it to. I also wondered why we were moving really, especially since my mother was still overseeing he remodeling of the house.

Not a rant

I just found this little questionnaire on my friend Detsune42's blog and thought I'd post it to try to retain some interest. I don't think there's anything too controversial in here, apart from the occasional Ann Kulturkampf reference. (My little joke, see, Coulter means culture I think, and Kulturkampf means cultural war, so it's funny right? RIGHT?!) Anyway, it's kind of fun, so if anybody wants to try it, you can get it from Det-chan's blog on LiveJournal (yeah, I know). Just look up Detsune42...yes I know that her posts are more interesting than mine...and yes, I know that this questionnaire was posted 6 months ago...just read it already!

About You

Preferred name: Anyone reading this that doesn't know my name, doesn't need to. And don't call me Jason.

Preferred location: Andre's Confisserie Suisse

Defining age: Probably 12 or 13


Be Honest

Name: ibid

Location: My room in Merriam

Age: 28.9808 (approximate)


Define Yourself

What's true: I really am a little self-centered... I tend to be over-critical of myself and others. I'm easily amused, most of the time. I'm not at all OCD, in fact, most of my friends wish I were.

What's misrepresented: I really don't care that much about being right. I know nobody believes me here, and I can hardly offer proof, but it's NOT that big a deal to me. I don't really hate republicans, or Christians, or anybody, they just scare me. I actually care about people much more than usually comes across. I just find it a little embarassing, so I don't talk about it.

#1 goal in life: To squeeze the maximum possible results from the minimum possible effort.

Habits: Cleaning my ears and nose in public (drives people insane). Making faces.


Things You Did, Good and Bad

As a toddler: I fell out of my bunk bed, achieving the small scar on the side of my head. I don't have any recollection of this (or most things really), but it's true that I prefer my mattress to be as low as possible. I'm also told that it was hard to get my attention, resulting in my hair getting pulled occasionally...guess how much I've got now. Along less Freudian lines, I'm told that I ate a bottle of children's tylenol and expressed an ambition to be god. Oh, and I apparently was potty-trained.

In elementary school: Whined and complained a lot, I suppose. Switched schools, switched back, then switched out altogether (not of school, just that school). Yeah, I don't really remember this part either.

In middle/high school: Um... hung out with the wrong kind of people... studied German, visited Germany twice,... As embarassing as it is, I don't remember too much of this part either. Oh, I think I tried to be some kind of pagan at one point.

In college: My real education began. I studied education, then history, then theater, then actuarial science (not really a science), then mathematics, then education again, and I'm going back for more math real soon. I discovered Nietzsche. I may have fallen in love several times, but it's so hard to be sure. I met most of my current cohort, with...um...carry the two...four exceptions. I met a little Asian girl who had to fly away to Singapore. And an American girl that flew away to Japan. I generally had a real good time.


Things You Do

Read: Voraciously. I read the entire Chronicles of Narnia in a week and a half, and I didn't even like them. Right now I'm reading manga at home, and the history of Hinduism at work. I also check internet news constantly, and often read articles from Wikipedia. It's possible that I read too much, actually.

Watch: Anime, mostly, but movies and old TV shows as well. It's definitely possible that I watch too much of this stuff.

Sports: Are you kidding? This is the MathBuddha we're talking about here! I did get schooled pretty bad at ping pong a few days ago. And I like badminton, but haven't played in a very long time.

Write: ...nothing...just the occasional rant on my blog. There are several things I would like to write, but I never have.

See: uh...whatever I point my head at? Unless I have my eyes closed...hmmm... The forest for the trees? The big picture? My monitor right now?

Hear: Music, music, music. Right now I'm way into Elvis Costello, but most of you know that. I enjoy a wide variety of sounds, including Tchaikovsky, Tom Waits, the B-52s, and a whole lot of other stuff. Oh, and Deathmask! I've got David Bowie on my winamp at the moment, but I'm not feeling it. Because that would be wrong.

Love: Humans. Honestly, I love everything about humans. I love human stories, human emotions, human kindness, and even human cruelty. I love the grandeur and the pettiness of the human spirit. I love human love and even human suffering, or at least humans that suffer. Read the prologue of Thus Spake Zarathustra for further details. I could go on for pages. I also love food (perhaps too much), music, and of course, my friends and family above all. I also love America, despite what Ann Coulter claims (I hope I misspelled her name).


Things You Don't

Read: John Grisham. The Da Vinci Code. Romance novels. My friend Yellow Dancer's work that she HASN'T SENT ME YET!!!

Watch: Anything on TV right now. Yes, TV sucks these days. Apart from the Colbert Report and the Daily Show, I can't think of anything I'd sit still for. Maybe Law & Order, if I had nothing better to do. Or football when it's in season. TV is awful.

Sports: Cricket.

Write: My friends often enough. All those stories I have in mind. This blog.

See: The trees for the forest. But I do try. The appeal of Reality TV. I really don't.

Hear: The radio. I can't stand popular music either. C'est crap, as the French might say. I've also never heard anyone with a legitimate grievance against gay marriage. Stop hating!

Love: I don't love my fellow humans as much as I would like to. I don't love my computer, though I do use it a lot. I don't love cigarettes or cigarette smoke, I don't care if they are hand-rolled. I don't love coffee. I don't love people trying to control me or tell me that I'm wrong, or especially jumping to conclusions about me. And after last night, I don't love the Jerusalem Cafe, either.


Favorites (Ha ha! Just because I said "I wanna know more..." doesn't mean I won't ask.)

Place(s) to be: I already mentioned Andre's. Wherever my friends are, mostly. And my parents' place. It's neat.

Thing(s) to do: Play games. Watch good shows or movies. Listen to good music. Eat, alas, alas. Call my friends rude names.

Person(s) to be with: Well, my mom and dad are certainly at the top of the list, followed in no particular order by my brothers, my sister-in-law, the rest of my family, my friends and co-workers (mostly), and most definitely whoever is reading this right now. Hi there! Give me a call sometime!


Things You Always

Wear: A belt. Sandals if I can. Very little hair.

Spell wrong: Embarassing (I could be doing it right now). Picninc. I mean picnic. Ann Coulter's name I hope.

Say wrong: Problee (say it)

Complain about: The government, American education, conservatives, the state of the world, other peoples' movies, music and shows, people that complain a lot, ... pretty much whatever's on my mind.

Compliment on: Not enough, that's for sure. Food mostly, especially if made by someone I know. I try to say nice things about new hairstyles, clothing, etc. I never, ever tell people what wonderful people they are, especially my mom and dad. More stuff that I find a bit awkward.

Wanted and don't have: Not a lot. Really. More money, just so I could be lazier. A personal staff. Lower standards for my writing. A few other things I'd rather not mention. A TI CBL2. They're pretty sweet.

Wanted and have: Great friends. Plenty of entertainment. A pleasant (dang it I forgot pleasant) work environment. A loving family. A world filled with incredible and wonderful human beings.

Promise and don't do: Most of the things I promise to do, I do do eventually, but sometimes it takes me a while. For that matter, I rarely make promises, because I don't like responsibility, and I take promises pretty seriously. An unspoken promise that I have trouble keeping is staying in touch with people. Why is that so difficult?

Promise and do: Um...pay my bills on time. Show up on time for work (almost always). I always try to show respect for, and think charitably of, my fellow humans. Sometimes it even happens!


So maybe now you know a few things about me that you didn't know before. If anyone reads this and doesn't have a blog of their own, feel free to post the entire questionnaire as a comment. Those of you that have blogs, make sure to let me know where they are. I'm thinking mostly of Amanda here. Anyway, see you next time.